Due to some last minute changes in registrations, we do not have enough work-study helpers for our Dallas, Texas class next week, on April 12-13. We really need two more helpers. If you are available on next Thursday and Friday, and are willing to help before the workshop starts, and during breaks, please call us at 1-800-545-5736 right away to grab a free slot. You will receive the entire course free, including the workbook and all 200 strategies. You can also sign up for college credit and clock hours. To thank you for helping, there will be absolutely no charge of any type to attend the Dallas inservice. Now, onto this issue's topic...

Do you know a Nix-Master? Sure you do. It's the child who says "no" to nearly anything. Some of these children are loud and defiant, others are quietly and politely non-compliant. Whether they are loud or quiet, they are not doing what they are asked to do.

         Article continues below...

Hurry! July & August Dates are Going! SCHEDULE YOUR STAFF INSERVICE TRAINING NOW! Working with Difficult Students Doesn't Have to Be So Difficult Call 1-800-545-5736 NOW or reply to this email to reserve your dates, request cost information, or ask for a FREE workshop preview

No adult ever won a power struggle with a child, and no adult ever will. The minute you get into power struggle with a child, you've already lost. Instead, choose interventions that work around the resistance.

Nearly nonstop nay-saying is a normal part of development that prepares teens to become independent. Here are techniques to use with youth or children who evidence normal non-compliance, and those who use behaviors that go well beyond "typical" into seriously defiant. We hope you enjoy this sampling of our innovative methods to fix the nix-master to say "yes" faster.

Be Democratic
Who would you work harder for-- the boss who was a dictator or the boss who was a participatory manager? Most of us, whether adults or kids, want to have a say at work or school. Allowing youth input prepares them for the self- management they must do throughout life when adults aren't present.

Strategies: To win a great prize, have students play Tic Tac Toe without rules. They will discover that games won't work without rules. Now, have a classroom without rules and a defiant youth as teacher. Role reversals offer fast ways for defiant youth to get a jolting look at their own problem behavior.

         Article continues below...

You Can Afford to Attend the Problem-Solver Workshop 2 FREE DALLAS WORK STUDY SLOTS! Next Week: April 12-13 One $84 St. Louis Work Study Slot Left Call 1-800-545-5736 NOW to grab a work study helper slot. Get the entire workshop with all 200 strategies while helping with workshop logistics.

If Everybody Says "No"
Help students realize that compliance is not arbitrary but essential.

Strategies: Ask the students to determine the consequences if everyone was non-compliant whenever they wished. Ask what would happen if everybody ignored stop signs, took things from you whenever they wanted, blocked traffic, refused to pay taxes, or could enter your house without your okay.

Give a Perspective
Defying authority can become the top issue above all else.

Strategies: Ask students to list the most important things they want in life. Defying authority will not be listed. Identify to defiant students that they devote much time and energy to low/no priority issues while jeopardizing their top goals. Have students cross out goals that defiance could ruin. This intervention is especially good with children such as conduct disorders who only care about what they want for me-me-me.

         Article continues below...

Get Everything You Need to Know to Manage Unmanageable Kids FREE WITH ANY PURCHASE OVER $50 Book regularly $15. Must note "Subscriber Book Free with $50 Purchase" when first order or register, not later. eBooks are excluded. Can't combine with other offers. Must spend $50 before tax, shipping. Not valid at workshop. No exceptions. Expires 4-30-07.

Different Approaches for Different Folks
You may have noticed two trends among your defiant youth. Some, such as conduct disorders, engage in defiance for fun, or out of meanness. But, others, usually your quieter students, are defiant not for sport or meanness, but out of desperation. You must work with these two populations differently. In past issues, we discussed the special set of tools you must use with conduct disorders. Click here to re-read Issues #2 and #3. If you need more than introductory information, click here to learn about our Conduct Disorders: All the Best Answers for the Worst Kid Problems book (pictured above, and for a limited time, free with your $50 purchase).

For your more vulnerable child who is non-compliant, we have dozens and dozens of methods that we give in our workshop. However, we will have space for just a few below.

Strategies: Your vulnerable students are non-compliant because it's safe and familiar; they do so out of desperation. Teach them alternatives that use acceptance. So, negotiation of expectations with incremental increases can help, but the more you wrestle for compliance, the less you may get, so also be sure to find out why the child says "no." Some children will say "I don't know." Respond to the "I don't know" with "If you did know...what would it be?" and often you will learn key data that will guide you.

Teach compliance skills, including what to say when you don't want to do as directed. Many students say "no" but could learn to say for example, "I don't know how to do what you are asking," which would be a much more conciliatory response. Consider allowing the child to say if it is a "good work day" or a "bad work day" and to get some accommodation on bad days. Any "breathing room" you offer fragile, non-compliant students usually results in their undying loyalty to you, and they'll work as hard as they can on days they are able. If you can strike the balance between your mission and the child's issues that impair functioning, that's the best case scenario. We hope this small sampling of our thousands of interventions for well-intentioned, non-compliant students, will help you avoid power struggles and gain more compliance.

Here are some interventions that focus on just reducing the anxiety that prompts work refusal in some youngsters. Once the student is less distracted by anxiety, start using our work refusal methods that target the non-compliance directly. The best source to get dozens of those follow-up methods is our live or recorded Problem-Solver Workshop (click for details). The anxiety-reducing devices below will make a great starting point:

Meet Tommy Calmly and Tammy Clammy
All the child knows is that his tummy is queasy, her palms are sweaty, or he has shaky hands. As an adult, you immediately recognize those symptoms as classic signs of anxiety. Plus, as an adult, you know what to do to quell those symptoms a bit. Children often don't recognize the signs of anxiety, and they often don't know what to do about it. Teach children the signs of anxiety and calmness, and how to manage anxiety. Introduce Tommy Calmly and Tammy Clammy, who are two characters who can convey the signs of both calmness and anxiety. Have your youngsters create pictures of Tommy and Tammy, with Tommy Calmly showing what calm looks like, and Tammy Clammy conveying what anxiety look likes. Have your students brainstorm ways for Tammy Clammy to be less anxious. The silly names for the two characters are useful in helping quell nerves; humor is almost always a terrific antidote for anxiety.

Mental health professionals often receive extensive training on the different types of out-of-control kids, and how to manage each type. Counselors, social workers and psychologists can name the different types and the methods that must be used with each type of youngster. They know better than to use generic or one-size-fits-all methods with different types of acting-out kids. They know that there is no one approach that will work with a variety of misbehaved youngsters. So, most mental health professionals would never rely on one single management style, like character ed, a point system, or standardized consequences, for example. Unfortunately, because many educators haven't been exposed to practical training on managing unmanageable students, many school districts, schools, and classrooms rely on a single approach for working with all acting-out students. Since one style of intervention will never work with all misbehaved youngsters, it is a course of action that will always fail with some extremely misbehaved students.

If you have come to one of our Problem-Kid Problem-Solver Workshops, --which are coming in the next few weeks to many cities around the U.S., click for details-- , or if you have been a subscriber to this magazine for a while, then hopefully you have learned from us about some of the types of severely acting-out kids. Hopefully, you already know that the most misbehaved student of all is a "conduct disorder." If you have been a workshop participant, or loyal subscriber, you hopefully have learned that conduct disorders (CDs) are a significant part of your population, about 11-14%. You may also remember that while only a mental health professional can diagnose CD, anyone can be concerned that a child may fit that category. Anyone, not just mental health workers, can use the methods that are designed to work with CDs. Here is the big secret to classroom management: If you use conventional, commonplace methods to control CDs, you will find nothing works. You simply can not use ordinary interventions with CDs. Those methods will inevitably fail. If you have had the experience of nothing works to control the student who is your biggest problem in your classroom, this is your explanation for what has happened. You must switch to methods that are designed to work with CDs if you want to get in control of this impossible-to-manage youngster. If you control this child, you will find the rest of classroom management becomes instantly easier because you are now controlling the ringleader.

First, an update on the massive 18th Birthday Giveaway that we featured in the last issue of this magazine. Yes, there is another 18th birthday goodie in this issue, but you will have to pay attention to find it on this page. If you do find it, you will be treated to amazing 1989 prices for the next two weeks. Needless to say, we were absolutely flooded with requests for the freebies offered in the last issue. We're still working our way through the last requests but have already given out hundreds of The Quickest Kid Fixer-Uppers ebooks (click for details.) If you missed that issue, you can still read it online at our site by clicking here. We really appreciated the sweet comments and wonderful feedback that many of you included with your requests. It means a lot because we do put our heart and soul into helping you help your troubled and challenged students. Now, here's this issue's content...

In almost every workshop that we hold, a participant asks for ideas on how to manage class clowns. You know the youngster. It's the student who may be the next David Letterman or Rosie O'Donnell, but unfortunately, their comedy can seriously deplete your limited contact time. Some youngsters also use humor that would make even Lenny Bruce blush, and you may question whether the contributions count as humor at all.

The sounds that come from your class clowns can "make or break" nearly any class or group activity. Because of this, it is absolutely critical that students be able to manage their verbiage and conduct. Although most schools and agencies want students to consistently manage their verbiage and conduct, very few sites have a formal, written-down plan to teach their youngsters the specific nuts-and-bolts skills that they need to comply. So, self-control skills are expected in most schools and agencies, but not explicitly taught in most schools and agencies. Not surprisingly, students who aren't taught self-control skills, quite often lack those self-control skills.

Here are the initial four skills that your aspiring comedians and "wannabe" talk show hosts need to transform show time into school or work time.