Many
youth are entrenched in negativity, hopelessness and apathy. Their stated
life goal is "nuthin," or to be a drug dealer, or even dead. Some common
interventions can actually cause some kids to become even more negative.
Negativity
and apathy are seldom random events. The child generally has reason to
believe that "nuthin" is all he can be, perhaps seeing family
members or peers ravaged by violence, drugs or other adversity. Despair
is a normal reaction that can blunt pain, but sometimes adults focus on
attempting to ease the hopelessness in the belief that before the child
will create and work for dreams and hopes, she must leave negativity behind.
Attempting
to take away the buffer that despair provides can cause some children to
become more determined that ever to be nobody. Hearing "Sure, you
can be anything you want" to a child whose life experience has shown
otherwise may be a bit like saying to you, "Sure you can win that
lottery!" Here are some interventions that expose the child to other
possible futures without attempting to take away the defensive despair.
The despair will diminish or persist as the child's life experiences warrant.
Apathy-Busting Interventions
If
You Did Know
Discouraged
kids often answer "I dunno" to the question of "What do
you want to be?" Typically, adults respond, "Oh sure, you must
want to be something!" and a power struggle can ensue. Instead answer,
"If you did know, what would it be?" This answer often catches
the youth off guard, and since it allows the child to preserve their defenses
while looking at other potential futures, you may get an answer or speculation
that you might never had gotten with a more confrontational or direct approach.
Poster #42 (shown here, click for details)
offers another way to help youngsters visualize a better future.
Future
Homes and Gardens
Very
discouraged youth may have serious problems imagining any possible positive
futures. Play "Future Homes and Gardens." Ask the kids to draw
floor plans or make other illustrations of their future ideal home. Becoming
able to imagine possible positive outcomes is important to helping shape
positive outcomes.
In
the Year 2525
Some
youth have never considered the possibility of positive outcomes. Expose
them to some by asking them to write you a letter describing their lives
as though it was 25 years from now. Students who cannot or will not write,
can draw, or make an audio or video tape. Many discouraged students will
create responses that you would never have guessed they had the capacity
to ever imagine. Students who resist, can work with a friend, with each
friend creating a letter for the other. Another tactic: tackle the procrastination.
Our Poster #41, shown here, can help. (Click for details.)
Funny
Futures
Some
youth persistently cling to negative goals especially if confronted directly.
Instead, use humor to ease the rigidity. When a youth states a negative
goal, respond with a silly remark such as this comment to a burly teen-age
boy: "Well I heard you wanted to become a prima ballerina and move
to Iceland." The youth may grin and give a response that is a lot
more likely than yours'.
Buy
the
Book
Book details
Our Coping Skills Sampler book (click here)
has dozens more
strategies, just like the ones shown above. Solve it now for just
$15. What kind of year will it be without
these problem-stopping answers?
Call us now at 1-800-545-5736 or
click to order.

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