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Our last issue was so popular, that we listened to the many subscribers
who wrote in, and will answer more of your questions again in this issue.
Just like the participants in our live class, it is clear that subscribers
like to set the topics, and get immediate solutions for their most
challenging "kid problems." Each of the subscribers who sent in a
topic that we are using in this issue, will receive their choice of any
of our books. If you want to get a free book for suggesting a topic,
scroll up to read how to offer your idea to us for use in a future
issue. It's a wonderful and easy way to get free books-- and the
answers you need.
Q:
Maryann is a school counselor in Pemberton, NJ. She requested
"strategies to use for children who seek attention by acting out."
A:
Maryann, we did a whole issue on this subject about 7 months ago,
perhaps before you were a subscriber, so it's too soon to devote
a whole issue to this topic, but let me give you a couple favorites.
* There is an old saying: "children would rather be
praised than punished, but they'd rather be
punished than ignored." With that in mind, wait for
the acting-out student to be properly behaved, and
then offer attention. Although misbehavior compels
the adults to give attention, it starts a cycle of
misbehavior netting attention, so by acting out, a
student can extract notice. That's the exact
opposite of what you want to occur so catch your
students "doing good" and offer attention then.
You are eliminating the need to act out to be noticed.
There are even stickers you can buy for younger
students that say "Caught doing good."
* Class clowns are the classic example of students
who chronically act out. Be sure that teachers have
their class establish a recommended number of times
to talk out, then expect students to follow that
standard. Without a quantifiable standard, you are
expecting students to adhere to a standard that is
unspecified. That isn't fair or reasonable. For
class clowns, work with them to learn about
the proper frequency of comments, the correct
type of content, and appropriate duration. If you
can channel the input to be appropriate, you will
give that student lifelong skills to be beloved in
the work place for making light, well-timed, often
much-needed, humorous comments. You have
transformed acting out into a potential, major
work place asset. Everyone loves the co-worker
who can break up the staff meeting with a well-
timed, wry comment or socially acceptable joke.
Q:
Theresa, who teaches kindergarten, wants more of a focus on younger
children. She writes: "I'm not a new teacher (15 years) but, the behaviors
I have seen and dealt with the past two to three years are becoming much
more common. Out of a class of 16, 8 of them have really horrible behaviors.
One even killed a cat this year! Thanks so much...I would love to come to a
workshop if you are ever in Wichita, KS."
A:
If you let us know that Kansas schools and children's agencies aren't
facing desperate budgets, we may look at hosting a session in your state.
We try to host classes in regions where youth professionals have an
adequate professional development budget. Right now, the closest we'll
get is Texas or Indiana, which isn't exactly close. You can always ask your
school district, professional association, teachers' conference, or local
Education Service Center to sponsor a class. It's been a while since one
of the Kansas Ed Service Centers hosted us. Or consider the course on
DVD or video. Now, if you had taken our Breakthrough Strategies class,
or if you have been very carefully reading this ezine, then you would know
the answer to this question. Theresa and everybody else: before reading
further, stop and consider if you already know the answer to this query,
because we have touched on the answer a lot in previous issues of this
magazine-- and we devote hours to the subject in class.
The most misbehaved children may be "conduct disorders." From past
issues or class, you may remember that those words refer to a specific
mental health category that describes the most out of control students.
While only a counselor can diagnose, anyone can be concerned that a
child falls into this category. Theresa, here is the critical element: you
must work completely differently with these students. If you use
conventional methods, you will find "nothing works." For Theresa and
others of you with very young students, here's more bad news: the
younger the severe misbehavior begins, the worst the outlook. The good
news: if more professionals could identify and correctly work with
young conduct disorders, the better the chance of aiding that child
to avoid that otherwise grim prognosis for the future. Sadly, without
targeted intervention, conduct disorders are at high risk of violating
the law, and ending up imprisoned. Properly working with that 5 year
old conduct disorder today can have incredible impact on his future.
That is why Theresa's question is so important.
Anytime you have a young (or older) child doing the most extreme
behaviors such as animal abuse, that should be a "red flag" to alert you
to consider using the specialized methods that work with conduct
disorders. The second and third issues of this magazine offered you
an glimpse into this large population, and Theresa, you use exactly the
same type of methods with both older and younger students. You can read
brief introductory information at http://www.youthchg.com/hottopic.html
but that article will not substitute for fully upgrading your skills with this
growing population. Theresa, as you know, you will get to pick out a free
book for having this topic selected. Please consider choosing out our
"All the Best Answers for the Worst Kid Problems: Conduct Disorders"
book. You can view it at http://www.youthchg.com/lessons.html#antisocial.
We tell everyone who asks that it is the best $13 you can ever spend to
understand how to manage unmanageable students. Since you can have this
book free, there is no possible excuse not to get it since it is a detailed
road map guiding you to manage unmanageable students of all ages.
Q:
Here is the email we got from Angela: "My topic suggestion is one that I do
not think is addressed enough anywhere-- self-mutilation. It is a far more
common problem than once thought."
A:
Angela, you didn't tell us your job, or where you were from, but wherever
you are and whatever your job, you are correct. If you are a counselor, you
may have noted the increase in the amount of disturbed youngsters,
especially in the early grades. The answer we give to your query is going
to depend on your job. We are going to play the odds and guess that you
are a teacher since we have more teachers as subscribers than counselors.
Let's hope we guess right.
If you are not a mental health professional, then whenever you have specific
data to suggest active self-harm, you need to immediately notify your
administrator or counselor. Only counselors and other mental health workers
should be managing behaviors that could be-- or become-- life threatening.
I am not saying that superficial cutting of the wrist automatically indicates
a potential suicide attempt, but ensuring the child's safety must be the job
of the mental health worker, and there are no exceptions to that-- even if
your budget-crunched school lacks a counselor. You will need their
guidance, and there is no work-around that is worth risking a child's life.
Even though non-mental health workers must consult a counselor, you still
need to understand what makes these children tick, and adapt how you
work with them. Plus, other behaviors may really be, or border on self-
harm. For example, extreme tattooing or piercings, reckless driving, and
serious promiscuity are just a few examples. To understand these youngsters,
remember that distressed children don't manage their distress in
"appropriate" ways. They don't enter class and say "I feel neglected
so I would like additional interaction and nurturance today." They
manage their distress in primitive, inappropriate ways like self-mutilation.
For non-counselors, you want to adjust how you work with the child
by striking the balance between your mission and the child's distress.
That means that when the child is distressed, you may lower the
expectations. On days the child is more functional, you increase
expectations. You also observe for safety concerns and let your
mental health worker guide you on all else. Even if you lack an on-
site counselor, it is not wise to learn counseling by practicing on a
distressed youngster. Instead of counseling these students, be
nurturing, involved, alert, and available. Offer them time, and
listen to what they say-- and don't say. Ask them what they need.
Sometimes, these youngsters just want someone to notice. But
leave the counseling to those trained to do it. Even if you have
to move heaven and earth to arrange it, your energy is best
spent ensuring that each hurting child has access to a capable
counselor who knows exactly how to help.
Want Great Solutions for All Your "Kid Problems?"
Our "Breakthrough Strategies" professional development workshop
(http://www.youthchg.com/live.html) is coming soon near you.
Or, you
can purchase the
recorded distance learning workshop (click). Our live and recorded workshops devote
hours to giving targeted, more effective interventions for an
amazing array of youth problem areas. For more information
or help, click here (http://www.youthchg.com) to go to our
web site, or call our toll-free line at
1-800-545-5736.
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FAILING, VIOLENT, DISRUPTIVE, ABSENT STUDENTS?
SCHEDULE AN ON-SITE TRAINING WORKSHOP!
We wrote the book on troubled students.
Make the 1 or 2 day professional development investment that delivers year-long results.
Bring the popular Breakthrough Strategies to Teach and Counsel
Troubled Youth Inservice Workshop to your entire staff, team, association, or conference.
Your staff name the exact problem areas; we deliver hundreds of ready-to-use,
problem-stopping interventions. For more details: Visit
http://www.youthchg.com/onsite.html, or call 1-800-545-5736.
Popular on-site professional development days are starting to disappear!
Call 1-800-545-5736 or reply to this email to get a professional development information
packet sent to you on hosting our powerful workshop. At your request,
we can include information on arranging college credit, clock
hours and CEUs, and using the inservice as a fund raiser. Our on-site professional development
classes are extremely affordable!
ON-SITE STAFF DEVELOPMENT SEMINARS ARE TERRIFIC FUND RAISERS!
RECENT ON-SITE WORKSHOPS
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Library of Congress ISSN: 1526-9981 | Youth Change, Your Problem-Kid Problem-Solver
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Wherever we present our popular "Breakthrough Strategies to Teach and
Counsel Troubled Youth Workshops" around the North America, we always
permit the course participants to set the content for each class. In each
live session, participants are asked to name the exact youth problem areas
that they want covered. Gathering that information at the start of class
allows us to precisely tailor each class to fit the people who attend it.
Every so often though, we run into groups who are just chock full of
good suggestions and questions. Since you may not have been able to
come to one of our workshops, let us bring a little bit of the live course
to you. Since we can't query each of you-- we have many thousands of
readers for each issue of this magazine-- we have attempted to anticipate
your suggestions and queries. Here are some of the most interesting
questions from both our general session and on-site classes over the past
few months. We hope that some these varied queries will focus on the
key youth problem area that you would request if you were present for
one of our live sessions. If we didn't correctly guess your key area,
then feel free to reply to this email to send your suggestion, or there
is still time to catch the "Breakthrough Strategies Workshop" live this
fall. Our remaining fall schedule
workshop dates are here (click), or contact us at
1-800-545-5736 to bring the class to your site or conference.
A:
PTSD is a mental health diagnosis that a mental health worker
can apply to a child. Simply put, this diagnosis means that the
child cannot recall significant, past trauma. Dissociation is the
term we use in class so that the focus is not on a diagnostic
category, but on the fact that the child can't recall massive
trauma, like rape or beatings. We will maintain that focus here
too. You may be quite surprised to know that dissociation is not
uncommon. Studies suggest that a whopping 50-70% of female
incest victims dissociate. Here is what happens: The memories
go away, but the consequences flourish. Dissociation can occur
after any type of massive trauma, but is most often linked to
childhood sexual abuse. Although you may suspect that sexual
abuse is perpetrated upon older children, in our class, we read
a letter from a girl who says "I have been a lady since diapers."
You may be shocked by the data on the prevalence of sexual abuse.
We actually hear people gasp, or see them grimace in class when this
data is covered. Estimates are that 1 in 3 of your girls, and 1 in 5
boys have been sexually abused, with most of those children (70-90%)
actually living with incest. While strangers hurting children makes the
news, the true danger to children is not from strangers, but much closer
to home. The perpetrator tends to be the male care-giver, and it is this
violation of trust by someone in a position of trust, that is believed to
be so devastating that a body does what it needs to do to function--
even to the point of forgetting trauma. This forgetting is not a
conscious choice, but may happen just like you immediately forget a
vivid or scary dream.
Recent studies by the University of Oregon and Stanford have
helped explain how the mind blocks traumatic events. But these studies
don't address how the trauma causes the visible problems that often occur
even though recall is lost. For the line youth worker, the visible problems
are what you face on a minute to minute basis: the child may be mute,
non-compliant, depressed, angry, and/or refusing work. The line staffer
may focus on just the outward behavior problems, never suspecting the
link to abuse. The key element: for misbehaved, possibly distressed
students, be sure to look beyond the muteness, beyond the
non-compliance, and so on, then address both symptoms and problems.
The misbehavior is merely a symptom; it is the abuse that is the problem.
Be sure you have top-notch skills on working with sexually abused
youngsters, because as you can see from the data, that although your
college training may not have prepared you for this youngster, you work
with many, many traumatized sexual abuse victims who have dissociated.
Q:
In a recent Portland, Oregon general session, one teacher asked for
methods that would work well to motivate students who are not seeing
any consequences to dropping out.
A:
In that Portland class, we gave motivation-makers for over an hour,
but here is a new method that is pretty grim, but potentially effective.
The next time that a student indicates that she may drop out of school,
ask her if she will ever need a place to live. The student will respond
that of course, she will need housing. You can then ask how many jobs
the student will want to work. The student will reply "one." Shake
your head side-to-side and tell the student: "If you will want a place
to live, as a dropout, you will need two jobs to afford housing. If
you don't want to work two jobs, then you can't afford a place to
live." New research, covered in many newspapers this month, suggests
that dropouts must work 79 hours per week to afford even the most
humble housing. The situation is expected to get worse as affordable
housing continues to disappear. Your students should know that prior
to making decisions about dropping out.
Q:
This question comes to us from Trevor, a participant who has attended
our workshop at least twice in Portland, Oregon. Trevor will receive a book
to thank him for making this suggestion. (Yes, you can win one if we use
your idea. Information on that is directly above this section.) Here is
Trevor's question: "How do I work with students who are used to using
money or their fists to get what they want? We have a lot of kids who
aren't used to obeying laws and have little regard for civil or school rules,
and think that using their fists is the logical and respectable way of
taking care of problems."
A:
Trevor, as you know from our class, it is so critical to teach students how
to perform target behaviors like self-control, respectful conduct, and
so on. Although, in class, we heavily emphasize teaching skills, often skill
training is not enough. So, do remedy the skill deficit, but here are two
other essential areas that you will need to more intensively address:
motivation and attitude. Clearly, the students you describe, see no
reason to behave more peacefully. To give them a better attitude, and
more motivation, there are several avenues to pursue. First, these
youngsters need to experience direct consequences for misbehavior so
they learn "when I mess with others, it can come right back at me."
Consequences don't need to occur every time-- and since you won't be
able to engineer reliable consequences outside your own site, that is
a relief. But, you do want consequences for misconduct to occur
whenever possible. You can't just offer an occasional reaction; the
more consistent the better, but you don't need 100%. Within your site,
you can ensure that misbehavior usually incurs consequences. Since a
high portion of these youngsters may be conduct disordered, Trevor,
look over your notes from class, and be sure to make the sanctions costly
to each student, and give a lot of consequences so that the price of
misbehavior is just way too high. You want to keep the costs of
misbehavior high, and the benefits low.
Second, work on the lack of motivation to behave properly. Here is an
intense intervention that you should use only with older, "tougher" students
who are vocalizing the benefits of illegal conduct. This intervention should
be done in private. To powerfully convey the potential consequences, a
harsh intervention like this may be appropriate for some youngsters in some
settings. Do not use this intervention if it is not appropriate to your site.
Since this magazine serves a broad array of youth professionals, including
those in alternative ed, juvenile corrections, police, and juvenile courts, we
strive to provide interventions for our entire spectrum of readers. This
intervention is not for meant for all parts of the youth service spectrum.
When the student is describing the items he has been able to get by drug
dealing, for example, ask him: "Do you know what the really well-dressed
drug dealer is going to be wearing?" When the student says, "no," cross
your wrists over each other, and reply "handcuffs." The element of surprise
may get the youngster to think when more conventional approaches
would fail. Notice that this intervention will work for youth who are
assaultive, stealing, damaging property, or involved in any illegal conduct.
If youngsters say that they won't get caught, you can consider replying
"Keep telling yourself that." Again, these edgy methods are for use with
just older youth, and only as detailed above. These methods are important
because even though they are harsh, they are far less harsh than being
locked up.
Want Great Solutions for Your Worst "Kid Problems?"
Our "Breakthrough Strategies" workshop
(http://www.youthchg.com/live.html) is coming soon near you.
Subscribers can attend at a very special rate of $89. Or, you
can purchase the recorded workshop. Scroll to near the top of
this email for details. Our live and recorded workshops devote
hours to giving targeted, more effective interventions for an
amazing array of youth problem areas. We have half-price
work-study slots still open for most Fall, 2004 cities. Those
slots are just $74. To grab one now, call 1-800-545-5736
or reply to this email. For more information or help, click
here (http://www.youthchg.com) to go to our web site, reply to
this email, or call our toll-free line at 1-800-545-5736.
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
UNMOTIVATED, ANGRY, DEPRESSED STUDENTS?
BOOK AN ON-SITE TRAINING WORKSHOP!
We wrote the book on troubled students.
Make the 1 or 2 day professional development investment that delivers year-long results.
Bring the popular Breakthrough Strategies to Teach and Counsel
Troubled Youth Inservice Workshop to your entire staff, team, association, or conference.
Your staff name the exact problem areas; we deliver hundreds of ready-to-use,
problem-stopping interventions. For more details: Visit
http://www.youthchg.com/onsite.html, or call 1-800-545-5736.
Popular on-site professional development days are starting to disappear!
Call 1-800-545-5736 or reply to this email to get a professional development information
packet sent to you on hosting our powerful workshop. At your request,
we can include information on arranging college credit, clock
hours and CEUs, and using the inservice as a fund raiser. Our on-site professional development
classes are extremely affordable!
ON-SITE STAFF DEVELOPMENT SEMINARS ARE TERRIFIC FUND RAISERS!
RECENT ON-SITE WORKSHOPS
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Library of Congress ISSN: 1526-9981 | Youth Change, Your Problem-Kid Problem-Solver
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So many youth believe that they are already prepared to live independently,
and don't need any more training or education before embarking on life on
their own. Here are some very creative ways to show youth that education
will be essential to their future. All these interventions focus on common
adult transportation problems. If your youngsters don't readily have the
answers to these adult situations, perhaps they also don't "know it all"
about other key adult independent living issues too.
** Off the Road Again
Explain what happens when you hydroplane, and when
you hit black ice; how do you try to still
stay on the road?
Answer: When you hydroplane, your car floats
on a sheet of water caused by rain on the road.
Black ice is ice on the road that you may not
be able to see. Black ice can be present before
any evidence of icy or dangerous driving
conditions is obvious-- and can send you flying.
Slow down and avoid turning your wheels
abruptly. Perhaps people think about all those
science classes that they skipped as they
hydroplane off the road or fly through the air
on black ice...
** Say Good Bye to a Good Buy
You're buying a car. The dealer says that they
will add the option you want to your car on
Thursday. What is an option, and what do you
say?
Answer: An option is a feature that can be
added to a car, such as a cassette or CD player.
You say "I must see the option on the car
before I pay." Once you have paid for the car,
the dealer has no incentive to follow though,
and you lack any clout to gain compliance once
you pay.
** Do You Know the Way to San Jose-- Today?
Name a good site on the internet to get free
directions to anywhere in the US then show
how to use it by finding the way from where
you are right now to San Jose.
Answer: Some great, free map sites include
mapquest.com, mapblast.com and yahoo.com.
** Filling Up Can Drain You
You fill up your gas tank at a gas station. Later,
you write a check for another purchase; the check
bounces. You know you had over $100 in your
account. What happened?
Answer: You used your debit card to buy gas
and gave your card prior to the gas being
pumped. The gas station put a "hold" on $100
of your checking account funds. Next time,
don't use a debit card, or wait to use the
card until the amount of gas purchased is
known. Then you'll only be debited for the
amount you bought, not the amount you might
have bought.
** Insure It
You total your car. You and the insurance
company finalize the amount that you'll be
paid for your car. Their check arrives but
it's missing $250. What happened?
Answer: The $250 was your deductible.
** It's Classified
You need to buy a car. Ads refer to "OAC,"
"AC," "4D" and "4WD." Translate.
Answer: OAC means "on approved credit,"
that if you are deemed worthy of credit,
they will loan you money to buy a car.
AC is air conditioning. 4D means four
doors, but 4WD means four wheel drive;
got all that?!
** Did You Know That Cars Can Swim?
You're about to get a good deal on a used
car. How can you tell if the car has been
for a swim?
Answer: Sometimes that good deal means
that the car has a soggy past. For
example, after a flood, cars can be
restored to look and smell okay, but
may have hidden problems from time
underwater. Use the internet to search
a car's past and discover past
collisions and even undersea adventures.
Want more strategies like these?
These strategies are taken from one of our
Quickest Kid Fixer-Uppers books (click) Each of the volumes costs $15,
and has dozens more cool tips and tricks on a vast assortment of
"kid problems." Call 800-545-5736 or visit
http://www.youthchg.com/orderfm.html to order. Or, come to
our live class now. You can earn college
credit and CEUs. Call us now at 800-545-5736.
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
UNMOTIVATED, ANGRY, DEPRESSED STUDENTS?
BOOK AN ON-SITE TRAINING WORKSHOP!
We wrote the book on troubled students.
Make the 1 or 2 day professional development investment that delivers year-long results.
Bring the popular Breakthrough Strategies to Teach and Counsel
Troubled Youth Inservice Workshop to your entire staff, team, association, or conference.
Your staff name the exact problem areas; we deliver hundreds of ready-to-use,
problem-stopping interventions. For more details: Visit
http://www.youthchg.com/onsite.html, or call 1-800-545-5736.
Popular on-site professional development days are starting to disappear!
Call 1-800-545-5736 or reply to this email to get a professional development information
packet sent to you on hosting our powerful workshop. At your request,
we can include information on arranging college credit, clock
hours and CEUs, and using the inservice as a fund raiser. Our on-site professional development
classes are extremely affordable!
ON-SITE STAFF DEVELOPMENT SEMINARS ARE TERRIFIC FUND RAISERS!
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Library of Congress ISSN: 1526-9981 | Youth Change, Your Problem-Kid Problem-Solver
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Leticia, who is a middle school teacher, is the source of this issue's topic. Here is
her question:
How do you get kids to stay in their seats and complete their work? These
are the ones that need to get paper, or sharpen their pencil, or get a book,
or any other excuse to get out of their seat so they don't have to do their work!
Leticia can pick out any one of our books as a thank-you for suggesting this topic.
Here are some suggestions for Leticia and anyone else who has
wandering, work avoidant, or unprepared students.
Leticia, as you well know, kids are not born "instant students." Any behavior that you
want a child to do, you have to first teach that behavior to the child. Just like you
have to teach math skills before students can do math, you have to teach those
basic school skills before you can reasonably expect the students to have those
skills. Schools have elaborate curriculum guidelines for teaching math, but usually
no guide at all for teaching the foundation school skills so that students can take
advantage of math instruction, and other academic offerings. So, before you can
teach math or any other topic, you will need to train your kids to be students. Ideally,
in the early elementary school grades, students would learn to be prepared for class.
That would eliminate all your problems with students getting up to sharpen pencils or
locate paper. Since many elementary schools don't thoroughly provide this preparation,
here are some suggestions to provide this training to students of all ages.
Here are the areas that you need to cover: First, as we have been discussing, students
will seldom perform skills that haven't been taught. Second, students may need "wiggle
time" if they get tired of sitting still at their desks. Third, students may want to do
anything besides their work, so getting up to do something can look pretty attractive.
Let's tackle each of these areas. I will only be able to give you a peek into each area,
but I will make suggestions to locate the additional interventions you will need.
1. CLASS PREPARATION SKILLS
Teach students how to prepare for class-- and motivate them to use these new
skills. To teach students how critical preparation is, have them name all the
jobs they may wish to do, then identify the consequences of being ill-prepared.
For example, what happens if the surgeon forgets her scalpel or the trucker
neglected to buy gas. Have students look for other humorous or compelling
examples then discuss: "Where are job preparation skills offered to you for
free besides school?" Answer: Nowhere.
Once more motivated to learn how to arrive prepared for class, have students
identify exactly what they must do to be prepared for your class. Include
responses like "sharpen my pencil" and "locate paper." List the responses
in a column on the board, then ask the students to identify the best and worst
times to perform these tasks. So, "sharpening a pencil during class" might rate as
a "worst time," but "before the class starts" might rate as "best." A fun follow-up
is to have a poster contest with students competing to best illustrate the concept
of "Arrive Prepared or Be Impaired." Put the posters on the wall to serve
as an on-going reminder.
This handful of interventions is just the start. Youngsters seldom change
long term behavior based on just a few interventions, so be sure to plan to use
more of the hundreds of additional strategies that we have. For example, our
"Turn On the Turned-Off Student" book has a wonderful handout called
"Rate How Well You Can Learn When You Miss Class." This powerful device
is part of an interactive experiment that vividly convinces students that they
miss a lot very quickly, even if they only left to sharpen a pencil.
2. WIGGLE TIME
Look around at your next staff meeting. Few staff members sit as still as statues.
Children make lousy statues. If you require students to "sit still," some will do
almost anything to be able to get up and move about, even if just for a minute.
Remember how you felt crammed into that airline seat for hours? Students can
feel the same way. Especially if you have 90 minute long periods, build in wiggle
time. Plus, at the start of the year, have your students establish a "Wiggle Rule."
For example, the rule may be that it's not okay to be out of your seat, but it is
okay to quietly tap your foot or a pen. The guideline to offer students: If the
wiggling behavior would be okay in the work world, then it is okay in the
classroom. You are preparing students for the work world, where sitting still
is seldom required. You can even use "Wiggle Time" as an incentive. For example,
if class time is not wasted on pencil sharpening and locating paper, then we can
enjoy some of the time saved by stopping instruction a few minutes early.
3. ANYTHING BUT WORK
You know the feeling. It's been 6 months since you balanced your checkbook, and
your taxes are now months overdue. All of us have things we like to do, and things
we just rather never do. Some of your students would rather get a root canal than
do class work just like you might prefer a root canal to finishing your taxes. A
powerful dose of motivation could help. For example, ask your students to review
your local employment classified ads, searching for jobs that reference motivation
and follow-through. They will find many ads seeking employees who are "highly
motivated," but no ads seeking the "poorly motivated." Discuss that few jobs permit
on-going work avoidance, then ask your class members if they will ever need to work.
Here are a couple of follow-up activities. Ask your students to name all the jobs
that they can do and refuse or delay tasks whenever they want. (There are no jobs
like that.) Here is an additional follow-up intervention for older students only.
Discuss the following tongue-in-cheek classified ad, and relate it back to work
acceptance and completion. This ad is quite edgy so tone it down as needed,
however, this edgy version does tend to get noticed by students. Even so, you
need to be very thoughtful about which groups of students you use this with.
Be sure to restrict the use of this device to older youth who would do well
with this hard-edged approach, and who also need exposure to a powerful
intervention to understand that work avoidance and poor preparation won't be
tolerated in the world of adult employment.
Work Avoiders Needed for High Paying Jobs.
Must be highly unmotivated
and able to avoid completing assignments.
Should be able to arrive late and unprepared.
Candidates who can leave in the middle of a task
are especially encouraged to apply.
Late and incomplete applications only please.
Do You Like These Solutions for Wanderers and Work Avoiders?
Find more methods like these in our "Turn On the Turned-Off Student" book
(http://www.youthchg.com/lessons.html#turnstudent.) Plus, we have a poster that is
very similar to the classified ad shown above. Check out Poster #7 at
http://www.youthchg.com/posters.html. Or, to get hundreds of additional
creative methods, attend our live Breakthrough Strategies workshop, or purchase
the recorded version (http://www.youthchg.com/live.html.) To Register or Order:
Call 1-800-545-5736 or reply to this e-mail. We can help!
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
DIFFICULT STUDENTS? WE CAN HELP
BOOK AN ON-SITE TRAINING WORKSHOP!
We wrote the book on troubled students.
Make the 1 or 2 day professional development investment that delivers year-long results.
Bring the popular Breakthrough Strategies to Teach and Counsel
Troubled Youth Inservice Workshop to your entire staff, team, association, or conference.
Your staff name the exact problem areas; we deliver hundreds of ready-to-use,
problem-stopping interventions. For more details: Visit
http://www.youthchg.com/onsite.html, or call 1-800-545-5736.
Popular on-site professional development days are starting to disappear!
Call 1-800-545-5736 or reply to this email to get a professional development information
packet sent to you on hosting our powerful workshop. At your request,
we can include information on arranging college credit, clock
hours and CEUs, and using the inservice as a fund raiser. Our on-site professional development
classes are extremely affordable!
ON-SITE STAFF DEVELOPMENT SEMINARS ARE TERRIFIC FUND RAISERS!
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Library of Congress ISSN: 1526-9981 | Youth Change, Your Problem-Kid Problem-Solver
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The time to start teaching attendance and punctuality skills is
Day 1, Week 1. For many school staff, that time is now. Remember:
You can be the best teacher or counselor on the planet but if your
students are late to be taught or counseled, it doesn't really matter
how good you are. The bottom line: kids must be present if you
are to successfully work with them.
The bad news is that many kids have problems with promptness. The
good news is that often lateness can be rapidly and effectively
addressed. Punctuality is another essential school skill we consistently
expect without consistently and fully teaching. Once trained to be
punctual, many kids show lasting improvement. Here's the latest solutions
for your latest students, our 4 steps for stopping lateness:
1. Motivate Them
Motivation is usually the most important step to stopping lateness
because so many students see no reason to be on time. Convincing
students that on-time behavior is an essential skill, often generates more
change than any other approach. You can find some sample motivation-
makers on our web site, and hundreds more in our "Maximum-Strength
Motivation-Makers" book. You can also try the sample intervention below,
but as you know, you will need to use far more than just one or two
motivational strategies to have the desired impact.
Intervention
A fun follow-up to this particular question: ask your students to
determine how the loss of water will affect Julio. Be sure they
notice that he will be unable to operate his bathroom, plus, be sure
they notice the re-connection fees he'll face. Help your students
to understand that mastering punctuality in school prepares them for
the punctuality skills they'll need as an adult-- especially if they ever
plan to flush or shower.
2. Identify the Causes
Students have problems with lateness for many reasons including
distractions, cultural differences, skill deficiencies and poor motivation. To
most effectively build on-time behavior, identify and address the source of
the lateness. For example, an elementary student may be late because she
lacks adult help to wake up and prepare for school each day. Her problem may be
best modified by giving her skills to plan a wake up-and-get-ready schedule for
arriving on time.
Intervention
3. Step-by-Step Help
Intervention
4. Expect Incremental Change
Intervention
Do You Like These Solutions for the Latest Students?
Find more methods like these in our "Quickest Kid Fixer-Uppers" book,
Volume 1 (http://www.youthchg.com/book.html.) Or, attend our live
Breakthrough Strategies workshop, or purchase the recorded version
(http://www.youthchg.com/live.html.) In our live and recorded workshop, we
often give dozens of the latest methods for the latest students. To
Register or Order: Call 1-800-545-5736 or reply to this e-mail. We can help!
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
PROBLEM STUDENTS? WE CAN HELP
BOOK AN ON-SITE TRAINING CLASS!
Call now! Popular August dates are being taken.
Make the 1 or 2 day professional development investment that delivers year-long results.
Bring the popular Breakthrough Strategies to Teach and Counsel
Troubled Youth Inservice Workshop to your entire staff, team, association, or conference.
Your staff name the exact problem areas; we deliver hundreds of ready-to-use,
problem-stopping interventions. For more details: Visit
http://www.youthchg.com/onsite.html, or call 1-800-545-5736.
Popular on-site professional development days are starting to disappear!
Call 1-800-545-5736 or reply to this email to get a professional development information
packet sent to you on hosting our powerful workshop. At your request,
we can include information on arranging college credit, clock
hours and CEUs, and using the inservice as a fund raiser. Our on-site professional development
classes are extremely affordable!
ON-SITE STAFF DEVELOPMENT SEMINARS ARE TERRIFIC FUND RAISERS!
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Library of Congress ISSN: 1526-9981 | Youth Change, Your Problem-Kid Problem-Solver
| |||
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Does it seem to you that you are seeing more and more
seriously emotionally disturbed kids than ever before?
The problem may not be with your perceptions. The problem
may be that in fact, you are seeing more disturbed children
and youth than at any time before.
There are a few explanations for what you may already have
noticed. First, many settings such as schools and Job Corps,
are accepting youth with increasingly serious emotional
problems. Second, mainstreaming has shifted many kids from
sheltered or specialized settings, into mainstream
classrooms, sports teams and scouting troops. Third, and
perhaps most important, there may be, in fact, more and
earlier serious emotional disturbances developing in children.
Or, perhaps we are just getting better at noticing and
identifying these problems.
Back in late 2000, you may have read in your local
newspaper a summary of the US Surgeon General's report
that noted that an amazing 1 in 10 children may have
a serious mental health disorder. This report noted
that the typical wait for troubled children to get
an appointment with a mental health professional
was 3 to 4 months. Some communities lack children's
mental health services entirely, the report also noted.
This report quotes a study that indicated that many
children with severe emotional problems don't gain access
to proper school services until age 10. The report
emphasizes that many of these troubled children will
wind up in jail, in part because their problems went
unnoticed, or were addressed way too late. The report
advocates for more mental health resources for children,
and better training in children's mental health for
everyone who works with youth.
That's where we fit in, because here's the bottom line:
If you are not a mental health professional, but you
work with kids, you may need to acquire a basic mental
health background in order to fully understand your
changing population, and to best meet their
changing needs. Youth Change can help you move towards
that goal with our monthly internet magazine issues,
but these brief updates will not give you all the
detailed information you need on the myriad of mental
health issues you now see every day. Be sure to consider
acquiring our Breakthrough Strategies to Teach and
Counsel Troubled Youth Workshop on Video/DVD
(http://www.youthchg.com/tape.html), or coming to a class
(http://www.youthchg.com/live.html). Both options can
help make your job much easier, and could even some day
help you save or salvage a young life.
Acquiring more essential mental health basics will also
help you know when to access help from a mental health
professional. It will also give you the basic terms you
need to convey what you see. There is no substitute for
the expertise of a mental health worker, and if budget
cuts have reduced this option at your site, that is serious.
While a class like our Breakthrough Strategies Workshop
can help non mental health workers learn key basics, it
is not a substitute for a veteran counselor or skilled
social worker. With the incidence of severe childhood
emotional problems apparently on the rise, it makes
relying on that counselor, social worker, or psychologist
more important than ever before.
If you are a mental health professional you may also
want to consider doing a check-up on your skills too.
We are always surprised at our workshop how many mental
health professionals confuse conduct disorders and thought
disorders, for example, two basic and essential mental
health concepts. (Ironically, thought disorder is the single
mental health problem that many clinicians believe may be increasing
the most in frequency-- especially in young children.)
We also need more organizations like the Family Resource
Centers in Kentucky. Kentucky's Family Resource Centers
have been sited in just about every school in the state, ready
to assist the student, family, teacher, counselor or anyone
involved in the child's life to help that child succeed in school,
community, family and life. Sadly, most of us lack a Family
Resource Center worker to turn to. Your challenge becomes:
how do I still provide my service to a child with serious emotional
problems? Here are a few key do's and don't's as starters, but
be sure to also consider developing a plan to more thoroughly
upgrade your basic mental health skills if needed:
** Strike the Balance
** When I'm Not Sure What to Do
** But I Have to Be Fair
** They Can Take It
** These Children Are Manipulating the Adults
** BONUS TIP
One way to tell if you need to upgrade your mental health skills
is to assess how well you can distinguish different types of mental
health problems and apply varied interventions for each type. While
non mental health workers can't diagnose, it is still important to be able
to understand and identify the difficulties you are seeing. For
example, if you do not know the difference between conduct disorder
and thought disorder, that means you probably can not work effectively
with youngsters with those issues. The best practice would to use
completely different sets of tools with each of these two types of
youngsters, something you can't do without a basic mental health
foundation. The upshot: you may find "nothing" seems to work, and
that safety issues abound.
LIKE THESE STRATEGIES?
Want more information on severely troubled children? In
addition to our Breakthrough Strategies to Teach and Counsel
Troubled Youth live and recorded classes
(http://www.youthchg.com/live.html), you may also want to get
specific techniques and lesson plans from our "Child's Guide
to Surviving in a Troubled Family" book.
(http://www.youthchg.com/lessons.html.) If your staff's training did
not include extensive course work on understanding basic mental health
problems like conduct disorders, anger management, abuse, and self-control,
you may want to call us now to set up a class for your entire team.
Our class is far more affordable than you may imagine, and it also
makes a terrific, easy fund-raiser. Stop using yesterday's methods with
today's kids, and you'll find that working with difficult kids doesn't
have to be so difficult. Best of all: While June and July dates are
gone, a few popular August dates are still open. Call us at 1-800-545-5736;
visit our site http://www.youthchg.com/onsite.html; or use the contact
information shown at the bottom of this page. We can help!
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
PROBLEM KIDS? WE CAN HELP RIGHT AWAY
SCHEDULE AN ON-SITE INSERVICE TRAINING COURSE NOW!
Call now! Popular August dates are being taken.
Make the 1 or 2 day staff development investment that delivers year-long results.
Bring the popular Breakthrough Strategies to Teach and Counsel
Troubled Youth Workshop to your entire staff, team, association, or conference.
Your staff name the exact problem areas; we deliver hundreds of ready-to-use,
problem-stopping interventions. For more details and information: Visit
http://www.youthchg.com/onsite.html, or call 1-800-545-5736.
Popular on-site professional development training days are starting to disappear!
Call 1-800-545-5736 or reply to this email to get a professional development information
packet sent to you on hosting our powerful workshop. At your request,
we can include information on arranging college credit, clock
hours and CEUs, and using the inservice as a fund raiser. Our on-site professional development
classes are extremely affordable!
ON-SITE STAFF DEVELOPMENT SEMINARS ARE TERRIFIC FUND RAISERS!
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Library of Congress ISSN: 1526-9981 | Youth Change, Your Problem-Kid Problem-Solver
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Thank-you for the great feedback about our recent issues of this internet
magazine. You seem to really like the topics that subscribers have been
suggesting for each issue. For this issue, we selected the topic suggested
by Suzanne, who may select any book, cassette or poster as a thank-
you for the great topic. (If you want to suggest a topic and win a free
resource item as a thank-you, email your suggestion to
<mailto:topicsuggestion@youthchg.com>.) Here's Suzanne's email to us:
At our school we have been having difficulty dealing with children
who when faced with work will throw things, or act out in very
dramatic ways. How do you go about helping the child while
protecting the education of your other students?
At the risk of a little bit of over-simplification, there are probably two
major reasons why student will act-out dramatically when faced with work.
Here is the first reason. It's a topic we've covered many times before,
so we'll just touch on it this time, then move on to the second reason.
One reason that students may engage in extreme behaviors when faced with
a task, is that the student is conduct disordered. If you have been a subscriber
to this magazine, hopefully, you remember what you learned in past issues
when we covered this topic. The key points that we hope stuck with you are
these: Conduct disorders lack a conscience so they do what they want, when
they want, to who they want. C.D.s are your most misbehaved kids so there
is a good chance that if someone is throwing items, that child could be conduct
disordered. A C.D. can engage in serious misconduct at any time, but certainly,
when faced with a distasteful task, that task can easily prompt bad behavior.
As you may remember, you must use a completely different set of techniques
with C.D.s so the way you prevent and manage misbehavior with this portion of
your students is very different from how you accomplish that goal with the
rest of your group. So, Suzanne, for the C.D.s in your classroom, use the techniques
we've offered you in previous issues. Can't locate those issues? Here's 2 places
to turn instead: First, you can get a little of that information on our web
site at http://www.youthchg.com/hottopic.html. Second, you can purchase our
Conduct Disorders and Anti-Social Youth book or audio book
(http://www.youthchg.com/lessons.html#antisocial)
to get all the information you
need for this portion of your students. As you may recall from the past issues,
C.D.s are usually at least 11-14% of a typical mainstream classroom, so you can
expect to always have at least a few C.D.s to manage in every setting.
The second major explanation why a student will violently refuse work is that
the youngster is frustrated, tired, upset, or hoping to avoid the chore. Years
ago, families more thoroughly and reliably taught their offspring how to behave,
and students' conduct reflected that. With this group of misbehaved youngsters,
you will have to teach them the self-management techniques that they did not
master at home. You will also need to equip them with the motivation and attitudes
that would foster better conduct. Our Breakthrough Strategies to Teach and
Counsel Troubled Youth Workshop, books, and other resources, have hundreds
of strategies on anger management; we have included a few of our favorites below:
Your Mama 101
Bonus Method:
Find Work With a Temper Like That
Pro-Active Skill Training
Bonus Method:
Pain Delay
Cooling Off Time
Real World Reactions
Deny This
LIKE THESE STRATEGIES?
We have hundreds more dynamic, attention-grabbing ideas to prevent or manage
anger control problems. Consider our Breakthrough Strategies to Teach and
Counsel Troubled Youth Workshop for your next inservice day, then all
your staff can learn the anger management techniques they need to work
with today's hard-to-manage youth and children. If your staff's training did
not include extensive course work on aggression, conduct disorders, anger
management, and self-control, call us now to set up a class for your entire
team. Our class is far more affordable than you may imagine, and it also
makes a terrific, easy fund-raiser. Stop using yesterday's methods with
today's kids, and you'll find that working with difficult kids doesn't
have to be so difficult. Best of all: Some popular August dates are still open.
Call us at 1-800-545-5736; visit our site http://www.youthchg.com/onsite.html;
or use the contact information shown at the bottom of this page. We can help!
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
PROBLEM KIDS? HERE'S IMMEDIATE HELP
SCHEDULE AN ON-SITE INSERVICE NOW!
Call now! Popular August dates are being taken.
Make the 1 or 2 day staff development investment that delivers year-long results.
Bring the popular Breakthrough Strategies to Teach and Counsel
Troubled Youth Inservice Workshop to your entire staff, team, association, or conference.
Your staff name the problems; we deliver hundreds of ready-to-use,
problem-stopping strategies. For more information: Visit
http://www.youthchg.com/onsite.html, or call 1-800-545-5736.
Popular on-site professional development days are starting to disappear!
Call 1-800-545-5736 or reply to this email to get a professional development information
packet sent to you on hosting our powerful workshop. At your request,
we can include information on arranging college credit, clock
hours and CEUs, and using the inservice as a fund raiser. Our on-site professional development
classes are extremely affordable!
ON-SITE STAFF DEVELOPMENT SEMINARS ARE TERRIFIC FUND RAISERS!
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Library of Congress ISSN: 1526-9981 | Youth Change, Your Problem-Kid Problem-Solver
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In our last issue, you were offered the chance to name the topic for
a future issue. We got many interesting requests. Watch for more issues
to focus on these suggestions. For this issue, we have chosen an idea
from Theresa G., who is a kindergarten teacher.
Here is part of Theresa's email to us: "I teach kindergarten and would
love to see an issue dealing with constant interruptions...I'm not a new
teacher (15 years) but the behaviors I have seen and dealt with the past
two to three years are becoming much more common. Out of a class of 16,
8 of them have really horrible behaviors. "
Theresa, we actually covered this problem nearly a year and a half back,
probably before you were a subscriber. Here is a re-print of that issue plus
some brand new methods not included in that earlier issue. Most of these
methods will work with students of all different ages. Here's the remedy for
the constant interruptions: You have to teach the behaviors before you can
expect them. This is true whether you have little kids like Theresa, or far
bigger ones. Since most schools have no formal, written-down plans to train
children to be students, many youngsters act like they have never been
trained to be students. This training does not mean restating the expectations.
This training does mean that you actually teach the specific skills that you want
to see in your classroom or group room. You will have to teach each aspect
of the target behavior, just as you must teach all elements of spelling or
riding a bike in order to ensure mastery. To focus on interruptions, you
will have to teach all the skills needed for proper class or group participation,
including how and when to: walk around, leave the room, chat with others, make
silly sounds, send notes, borrow a pencil, and talk out. Until you do teach
all those nitty gritty basic skills, you can set whatever standard you want
regarding interruptions, however you probably won't get satisfactory compliance.
You have to teach the behavior before you expect it.
In this issue, we are going to focus in on just one aspect of interrupting: the mouth.
However, please note these next two points: First, in addition to teaching the skills
students need to manage their mouths, please be sure to also use lots of our popular
motivation-makers so your youngsters value your site and service. (There is a
sampling of our dynamic motivation-makers on our site at
http://www.youthchg.com/nws3moti.html; plus, that topic has been heavily covered
in recent issues of this magazine.) Nonetheless, the more your students value your
service, the more their behavior will reflect that. Similarly, the less students value
your service, the more their behavior will reflect that too. Interruptions certainly
may reflect students' low regard for the service you provide.
Second, don't forget to cover all the other skills that youth and children need to
act acceptably in your setting. To stay focused on just interruptions, you can't
just teach "mouth control" skills, but also must cover how to manage your body,
when to arrive, when to exit, how to manage supplies, and so on. Beyond the focus
on interruptions, you should cover ALL the classroom behaviors that you expect.
Here are some of our favorite mouth control methods:
Give Me Five
Do the Wave
The Mouth Goes Shut
Dragnet Helps
When Everybody Talks, Nobody Can Listen
A Talk Thing
LIKE THESE STRATEGIES?
Want some motivation-makers to improve the way students view your
site and service? Get hundreds of powerful strategies from our
newest book, "Maximum-Strength Motivation-Makers." It's just $15,
and designed to give you all the tools you need to motivate unmotivated
students. Learn more about it at:
http://www.youthchg.com/guide.html#motivationbook.
Order by phone
(1-800-545-5736); at our site (http://www.youthchg.com/orderfm.html);
or use the contact information shown at the bottom of this page.
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
PROBLEM KIDS? HERE'S IMMEDIATE HELP
SCHEDULE AN ON-SITE INSERVICE NOW!
Call now! Popular August dates are being taken.
Make the 1 or 2 day staff inservice investment that delivers year-long results.
Bring the popular Breakthrough Strategies to Teach and Counsel
Troubled Youth Inservice to your entire staff, team, association, or conference.
Your staff name the exact problems; we deliver hundreds of ready-to-use,
problem-stopping intervention. For more information: Visit
http://www.youthchg.com/onsite.html, or call 1-800-545-5736.
Popular on-site staff professional development days are starting to disappear!
Call 1-800-545-5736 or reply to this email to get a professional development information
packet sent to you on hosting our inservice workshop. At your request,
we can include information on arranging college credit, clock
hours, and using the inservice training as a dynamic fund raiser. Our on-site professional development
classes are very affordable!
ON-SITE STAFF DEVELOPMENT SEMINARS ARE TERRIFIC FUND RAISERS!
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Library of Congress ISSN: 1526-9981 | Youth Change, Your Problem-Kid Problem-Solver
| |||
|
"I'm Just Gonna Be a Mom"
Purchase 3.5 liters of infant formula and
give 12 oz every 90 minutes
When must you leave to arrive to day care
by 6 PM if you drive 20 mph from 36 miles away?
Purchase enough diapers for your son for a
week if he uses 6-1/2 diapers each day.
(Help: acetaminophen is Tylenol; "tid" means three times per day.)
"I Won't Need to Read"
"I'm Gonna be a Rap Star"
"I'll Just Work in Fast Food"
"Then I'll Just Join the Military"
LIKE THESE STRATEGIES?
Want some motivation-makers to improve the way students view your
site and service? Get hundreds of powerful strategies from our
newest book, "Maximum-Strength Motivation-Makers." It's just $15,
and designed to give you all the tools you need to motivate unmotivated
students. Learn more about it at:
http://www.youthchg.com/lessons.html#motivationbook. Order by phone
(1-800-545-5736); at our site (http://www.youthchg.com/orderfm.html);
or use the contact information shown at the bottom of this page.
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
PROBLEM KIDS? HERE'S IMMEDIATE HELP
SCHEDULE AN ON-SITE INSERVICE NOW!
Hurry! Popular August dates are being taken.
Make the 1 or 2 day professional development investment that delivers year-long results.
Bring the popular Breakthrough Strategies to Teach and Counsel
Troubled Youth Workshop to your entire staff, or to your conference.
Your staff name the problems; we deliver hundreds of ready-to-use,
problem-stopping answers. For more information: Visit
http://www.youthchg.com/onsite.html, or call 1-800-545-5736.
Popular on-site staff professional development inservice dates are starting to disappear!
Call 1-800-545-5736 or reply to this email to get a professional development on-site training information
packet sent to you on hosting our workshop. At your request,
we can include information on arranging college credit, clock
hours and CEUs, and using the inservice as a fund raiser. Our on-site professional development
classes are very affordable!
ON-SITE PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT COURSES MAKE AWESOME FUND RAISERS!
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Library of Congress ISSN: 1526-9981 | Youth Change, Your Problem-Kid Problem-Solver
| |||
|
"Nothing seems to work with that child!"
Have you ever said those words? If you work with very out-of-
control students, chances are you have said those words more
than once. You were right. Nothing was working to rein in that
youngster. In this issue, we'll explain why nothing worked, and
what you can do that will work. Hopefully, this article will help
you avoid saying those words so often.
Just about everybody has one-- that child who is almost
gleefully out-of-control. You know the youngster. He's the
one who seems to live to torment vulnerable peers. He seems
to almost take delight from engaging in problem behaviors like
property damage, harm to others, verbal abuse, and defiance. If
you noticed the heavy use of "he" in the last few sentences, that
was not by accident. This child does tend to be a "he." Can you
name the mental health label that might be used to describe this
type of child? If you've come to one of our workshops, or been
a longtime subscriber to this magazine, you should know the answer.
The answer is "conduct disorder," a topic covered in this magazine
and in our workshop. As you hopefully remember, the term "conduct
disorder" roughly means that the child has no conscience, remorse,
or relationship capacity. That means that these children don't care
about hurting others or damaging property, so they do what they want,
when they want, to who they want. Only a mental health professional
can diagnose this disorder, so it is very important that if you are not
a social worker, counselor, etc., you never say that a child is
conduct disordered (C.D.). However, it is okay for you to carry that
concern in your mind.
Here is the most important information: You must work with C.D.s
differently than everybody else. If you attempt to use conventional
approaches with C.D.s, you will find "nothing works." There is your
explanation for why nothing seems to work with some youngsters.
You may be surprised to learn that conduct disorders are not a tiny
fraction of your students. Estimates are that 11-15% of your
youngsters are C.D.s. That means you probably have more than one
child with whom nothing seems to work.
In our workshop, we devote hours to teaching you about this child.
Obviously, we can't fit all that information into this email. Yet,
clearly, this isn't a child you want to work with when you have just
a smattering of information on how to manage them, so we'll do our
best to explain 1.) why nothing has been working to manage C.D.s,
and 2.) what to do instead-- and we'll include a handout.
1.) Why Nothing Works
Conduct disorders are "wired" differently than other students.
That means that they may not be able to care. Because of that
difference, the following interventions will fail: character ed,
values clarification, empathy building, second chances, making
amends, and more-- far too many to list here. These methods fail
because the child must care about others if these techniques are
to work. These approaches are absolutely fine for other types of
children, but will never be of value with C.D.s. In fact, these
methods make the situation worse because they communicate to
these children that you don't understand who they are, and don't
understand how to control them. That perception generally leads
these youngsters to believe that they may be able to do whatever
they want without having to deal with consequences that would
be of significant concern to them.
2.) What to Do Instead
First, if possible, stop using any intervention that requires that
the child care. For example, stop using empathy-based methods.
Stop saying: "Timmy, that makes Juan feel bad when you slap him."
For a C.D., with those words, you just painted a target on Juan's
back. Review the list of common interventions in #1 above, and
discontinue using those approaches with children who may be C.D.s.
Second, use approaches that are designed to work with children
who appear to lack empathy and compassion. There are lots of methods
to replace the conventional approaches that fail with C.D.s. We'll
give you one key method here.
For example,
our handout (click), "Do You Want to Go Through Life Without
Brakes on Your Actions?" can work well. That worksheet is shown
along with several others from our Temper and Tantrum Tamers book.
Click to view
Temper and Tantrum Tamers.
This type of worksheet begins to demonstrate to C.D.s that "when
you hurt others, you can get hurt too." Notice that we are compensating
for the lack of empathy by showing the C.D. that he will often have
troubling consequences to deal with when he hurts people or property. (By
the way, this intervention and handout is absolutely wonderful with any
child, but especially useful with C.D.s.) So, the key point to include in
interventions for C.D.s is: Hurting people or property can hurt you.
This approach will do no harm if you have guessed wrong about a child
being conduct disordered, but can really make a difference if the child
actually is.
Now, you have one key pointer to help you work with your hardest-to-
manage youth: keep the costs of misbehavior high. There are so many
more methods to also use, that we must emphasize that this email is
absolutely inadequate for giving you all you need to effectively manage
your most unmanageable youngsters. To best ensure your safety, and that
of your students, be sure to more fully update your skills as soon as possible
rather than rely on the limited information we have been able to squeeze
in here. (A brand new $15 resource called "All the Best Answers for the Worst
Kid Problems: Anti-Social Youth and Conduct Disorders," is suggested below.)
Also, please note that we are not identifying C.D.s as "bad" or "hopeless."
Instead, we are asking you to consider that you have a diverse population of
youngsters, and you need to always select the correct tools for the correct
kids. For conduct disordered kids, choosing the wrong tools can yield disastrous
results. Choosing the correct tools can put you back in charge of even the most
out-of-control, conduct disordered youngsters.
LIKE THESE STRATEGIES?
We have dozens more. Our newest book, "Conduct Disorders
and Anti-Social Youth," is designed to give you all the tools you
need to manage unmanageable students. Learn more about it at:
http://www.youthchg.com/guide.html#antisocial. Order by phone
(1-800-545-5736); at our site (http://www.youthchg.com/orderfm.html);
or use the contact information shown at the bottom of this page.
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
PROBLEM KIDS? HERE'S IMMEDIATE HELP
SCHEDULE AN ON-SITE INSERVICE NOW!
THEY'RE GREAT FUND RAISERS!
Make the 1 or 2 day investment that delivers year-long results.
Bring the popular Breakthrough Strategies to Teach and Counsel
Troubled Youth Workshop to your entire team, or to your conference.
Your staff name the problems; we deliver hundreds of ready-to-use,
problem-stopping answers. For more information: Visit
http://www.youthchg.com/onsite.html, or call 1-800-545-5736.
Popular on-site inservice dates are starting to disappear!
Call 1-800-545-5736 or reply to this email to get an information
packet sent to you on hosting our workshop. At your request,
we can include information on arranging college credit, clock
hours, and using the workshop as a fund raiser. Our on-site
classes are surprisingly affordable!
ON-SITE WORKSHOPS MAKE AWESOME FUND RAISERS!
Library of Congress ISSN: 1526-9981 | Youth Change, Your Problem-Kid Problem-Solver
| |||
|
Here are some exciting new interventions for you to use in 2004.
Enjoy!
1. Famous Last Words
Ask students to imagine "Famous Last Words" from years ago.
For example, years ago, someone may have said "People will
always need horses for travel," and "Nothing will ever
replace the typewriter." List your students' responses on the
board and discuss. Next, ask your class members to identify
what may be their own "Famous Last Words," and elicit answers
like "I'll always be able to find a job without a diploma,"
and "There is no way I will need computer skills."
2. Would You Put Your Future in the Deep Freeze?
This unusual, but compelling intervention requires access to
a freezer. Using permanent ink, make up cards that promise
rewards or treats to your class members. For example, a card
might say "When you see snacks in the room, trade this card
for any snack you want," or "When offered, you can use this
card to leave class early." Use heavy laminate to encase the
cards, then distribute an assortment of cards to students.
Students will be enthusiastic and positive about the cards;
allow them to voice their pleasure. Next, ask the class
members to write their names on the cards they receive, then
instruct the students to return all the cards to you. Once
you have collected all the cards, submerge the cards in a
container of water as your students look on. Next, place the
cards in a freezer. You must wait until the cards are frozen
in the water to finish this intervention, so plan to
continue this exercise in a subsequent class.
To continue the intervention, bring the frozen cards to your
next class. Now, do offer snacks, early dismissal, and the
other items written on the cards. Students will be unable to
locate or use their frozen cards. Let students voice their
frustration, then ask the class members to determine the point
of this unusual activity. Here is the point: it can be extremely
frustrating if you need something and it is in the "deep freeze"
when you need it. What might that "something" be? Perhaps a diploma,
sobriety, literacy, computer skills, or whatever point you wish it
to be for your particular group. Offer students the opportunity
to repeat this exercise at the next class using defrosted cards.
Using the defrosted cards, repeat the exercise. Now, students
can easily get what they want. Discuss this observation with the
class, then ask the class to determine how this observation
relates to what can happen if people put their diploma in the
deep freeze-- or their sobriety, or their literacy, etc.
3. How are We Doing?
The new year is a time of new beginnings and reflection. There is
no better time than now to ask your students to look at how your
class or group is faring. If you don't already ask students to
regularly evaluate your class, you may be surprised at the answers.
You may shocked at the impact just asking will have on your
relationships with your students, who are often quite impressed
that you cared enough to ask. Evaluation forms that ask students
to finish the sentences, work especially well. For example,
questions could include: "The one thing that helps me is..." and
"The one thing that does not help me is..." You will learn so
much about how to best interact with, and assist your charges. We
believe in this intervention so much that we have conducted
evaluations on every class we've sponsored in our 15 year history.
4. First In, First Out
To improve punctuality, create a rule that offers the first
students to arrive, the opportunity to be the first students
to leave at the end of your class. You might even allow them
to leave several minutes early. This courtesy can be related
to the world of employment, where sometimes employees who
arrive early, are permitted to leave a bit early, or they
may receive promotions, awards, or other benefits for
their on-going promptness.
5. Misbehavior Needed
Ask your class to name all the jobs and businesses where
employees can misbehave in the manner that students do.
(There are none.) Next, ask your class members if they
will ever need to work.
6. When the Hand Goes Up...
The first minutes of class or group can be wasted on quieting
students. As with any expectation for behavior, you must
teach students how to perform the behavior before you expect
it. Here is a wonderful device that can engender immediate
quiet. Teach your students: "When the hand goes up, the
mouth goes shut." To encourage participation, consider
asking one of the students to lead the intervention.
7. Sounds of Silence
Here is another device to quiet your group quickly. This
device is a lot of fun. Using a TV remote control, teach
students to become "mute" when you push the button on the
remote. Students tend to like this intervention, and will
often become mute mid-word, just like a TV would. To make
this device work well, be sure to "unmute" your students
too. If you wish, this technique can be used throughout
class, and at other times.
8. Overdue Sue and You
Punctuality can be a chronic problem at your site. Teach
students punctuality skills, and you'll find that this
chronic problem is less chronic. Ask your class members
to imagine the excuses for lateness that might be offered
by Overdue Sue, Tardy Marty, and Late Great Nate. Next,
ask students to devise specific solutions. Finally, assist
students to apply the solutions in their own lives.
9. There Must be 2004 Things You Need to Know by 2004
There are some new sounds around in 2004. Ask your
students to explain those sounds, and include items
like these: Spam filter, portable cell number,
terminated benefits, generic equivalent, and land line.
(Translation: spam filters attempt to remove junk e-mail;
cell phone numbers can now be transferred from carrier
to carrier; terminated benefits mean your insurance or
other service has ended; generic equivalent drugs
may be cheaper counterparts of brand-name drugs; a land
line is a non-cellular phone.) Ask students to consider
if they can keep up with the conversation in 2004.
10. Control the Uncontrollable
We are often asked to present our workshop at schools
where the staff feel that the students are out-of-control.
During these workshops, staff always want to know how to get
back in control, especially when nothing seems to work. Here
are the first two steps. First, it is much easier to start
over than rehabilitate a class or group that has been out-
of-control. A natural time of year to start over is January,
which is traditionally viewed as a time of beginnings. If you
take this step, be sure to acknowledge the past problems,
and emphasize that those problems will not be continuing. You
now must absolutely follow through on those words, or the
problems will likely worsen.
The immediate question then becomes, "How do I follow through
and maintain better control?" The answer is that you must
learn and use techniques that fit extremely out-of-control
youngsters. This is the second of the two initial steps.
For many youth professionals, your training did not help
you learn different management techniques for different
types of youngsters. Ideally, you would have learned a lot
in college about uncontrollable (conduct disordered) youth,
and how you must work with them differently. However, many
youth professionals aren't given this training. Your second
and third issue of this magazine covered this population,
and gave you a few key do's and don'ts. To maintain better
control, you must use the correct methods for severely
misbehaved students, and you must train and motivate all
your students to perform the behaviors that you expect. Need
a recap on severely misbehaved youth? Here is initial
information to get you started. It will not be everything
that you need, but it will give you some of the key basics:
http://www.youthchg.com/hottopic.html.
LIKE THESE STRATEGIES?
We have dozens more. Our newest books for 2004, "Conduct Disorders
and Anti-Social Youth," "Forgotten Favorite Strategies,"
and "Maximum-Strength Motivation-Makers" are designed to
help you work with challenging children and youth. Each
book sells at our site and on amazon.com for $15, but if
you order within the next two weeks and mention this 2004
Problem-Kid Problem-Solver magazine, you can order them
for $10 each plus shipping. That's nearly 25% off. Order
by phone (1-800-545-5736); at our site
(http://www.youthchg.com/orderfm.html); or use the contact
information shown at the bottom of this page. This offer
can't be combined with any other offer or discount, and
is not valid towards paying an invoice. Must mention/
include this 2004 discount at time of order, not later; use
the "Comments" line on the on-line order form if
ordering on-line. Expires in 2004.
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
PROBLEM KIDS? HERE'S IMMEDIATE HELP
SCHEDULE AN ON-SITE INSERVICE NOW!
THEY'RE GREAT FUND RAISERS!
Make the 1 or 2 day professional development investment that delivers year-long results.
Bring the popular Breakthrough Strategies to Teach and Counsel
Troubled Youth Workshop to your entire team, or to your conference.
Your staff name the problems; we deliver hundreds of ready-to-use,
problem-stopping answers. For more information: Visit
http://www.youthchg.com/onsite.html, or call 1-800-545-5736.
Popular on-site inservice dates are starting to disappear!
Call 1-800-545-5736 or reply to this email to get an information
packet sent to you on hosting our workshop. At your request,
we can include information on arranging college credit, clock
hours, and using the workshop as a fund raiser. Our on-site
classes are surprisingly affordable!
ON-SITE WORKSHOPS MAKE AWESOME FUND RAISERS!
Library of Congress ISSN: 1526-9981 | Youth Change, Your Problem-Kid Problem-Solver
| |||
 
The solutions you've been searching for. $15 each. Click here or call 1-800-545-5736 to order. Click on book for details | |||||||||
We're here to help youth professionals help youth. Call toll-free *1-800-545-5736 or *Youth professionals ONLY. (Not a youth professional? Click here.) 
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