As tough as Tuesday was for adults, it can be even tougher for children. There is no magic formula for assisting children to cope with events that all of us struggle to understand and manage, but here are some basis "do's" and "don'ts" to help guide you to best aid the young people in your world.

SPECIAL POPULATIONS TO NOTICE:

1. Younger Children

Younger children, about ages 5-8, can sometimes understand more than they can process. Many children under age 5 or so, will probably be somewhat spared the brunt of the impact. The abstract concept of death may somewhat elude them, for example. Children who are a bit older may clearly comprehend many aspects of Tuesday's events, but have little ability to manage the feelings that arise. This age group may be especially expected to have nightmares, somatic complaints, sleeping problems, or more difficulty than normal with both everyday and stressful situations.

Do not maintain customary expectations for coping. For example: be more tolerant of somatic complaints and especially avoid comments like "But you can normally be sleep alone!" Provide increased level of nurturing and contact. Most important: assist with coping skills. To do so, make fears concrete and manageable. Example: "It's normal to have trouble sleeping alone after a scary thing happens." Teach the child to limit the time spent thinking about the scary things, and show the child how to distract himself or herself. Encourage verbalizing concerns, and model that with sentences like "I was scared too when I saw the plane hit the building." Do not squelch, limit, or negatively react to any verbalizations of fear, anxiety or stress. Instead, emphasize the normalcy of that reaction.

Concrete action is important for these youngsters who do not always grasp abstract concepts. Have the child collect donations for the Red Cross, help pack blankets to send to New York shelters, or other similar activities. Action can teach these children that sad things happen, but rather than wallow or dwell, we can use our sadness to make the bad situation just a little bit better. That is a valuable lifelong skill for coping.

2. Children in Stress

Children who are already faced troubling times, may have special difficulty when the world becomes turbulent. These children include kids in crisis, children with mental health problems, drug-affected youth, kids from troubled homes, abused kids and others.

As these children face an array of problems, there is no easy, one-size-fits-all answer to give. However, do increase supervision, be ready for deterioration, monitor medications, and be alert for substance abuse and other problematic "coping" methods. Use the strategies noted above for young children, as appropriate. Be especially tuned into thought-disordered and severely depressed youth who so often seriously deteriorate when the world seems far scarier or sadder than usual. Watch for self-harm. Any child who has lived with abuse or other horrible circumstances can be expected to "over-personalize" the situation and "over-react." Be tolerant of these reactions; given the child's pre-existing challenges, these are "normal" reactions to abnormal times.

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