Childs Abuse, Crisis, Neglect, Fear, Anxiety Stratgeiges: Help for Teachers, Foster Care Workers, Social Workers, Counselors, Student Assistance Workers

YOUR QUESTIONS
ABOUT CHILDREN & TRAUMA:

WHAT TO DO WHEN THERE'S NO CALM AFTER THE STORM

PART 1 OF 2

So many of you had urgent questions about what you were seeing happen to your kids as the national chaos and crisis began on September 11, 2001, that we responded on September 12th. We addressed your queries with an article of help and resources for teachers, mental health counselors, and other youth workers (click here to read the first article.) That article generated a flood of additional questions on how to help traumatized children and youth. To manage that flood of inquiries, a second guide was created to respond, and was published on September 14th. That article is reprinted below. Both articles should be of use not only following national disasters like 9/11, but the information should apply to other types of trauma that children can face. Both articles were sent to subscribers of our free Problem-Kid Problem-Solver Internet Magazine. To subscribe free, click here.
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Many of our Problem-Kid Problem-Solver Internet Magazine subscribers responded to the special issue sent 9/12/01, entitled Helping Children Through Tuesday’s Trauma (click to view). We read each response and found tremendous comfort and hope in your comments. It was especially wonderful to hear from so many of you who have taken our Breakthrough Strategies to Teach and Counsel Troubled Youth Workshop (click here) over the years.

As requested, that special issue is now posted live on our site. Information on permission for reprinting is posted at the end of the article. The complete article is located at at http://www.youthchg.com/tuesday.html (Click to read.)

Because of the urgency of many of your questions, we are working hard to have your responses in your email box as early on Friday as we can. Right now, it is 2 AM Friday morning on the West Coast and the news programs report few, if any, signs of calm after the storm. As I type, the news is full of new airport closures, arrests, bomb scares, evacuations, demolition and death. Your job comforting your children may have just begun. Here are the answers to the questions you have been emailing to us.

HOW CAN I TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "NORMAL" FEAR AND OBSESSION?

You can't always tell the difference initially, but time will give you the answer. As the child's peers return to the routine and rhythm of their old lives, or find ways to adapt to a newly terrifying world, it is the child who remains behind in fear who may have a problem.

CAN YOU BE MORE SPECIFIC ABOUT TELLING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "NORMAL" WORRY AND "TOO MUCH" WORRYING

"Normal" reactions are age-appropriate responses that should get gradually or rapidly better. For example, a six-year-old who lives far from the actual terrorist incidents, but has been watching the TV news, might want to sleep in Mom's room for a few days or balk at separating from Mom to go to school. The same response in an older teen whose only connection to the trauma was also the TV news, would be much more of concern. Watch for at least gradual improvement in symptoms once the chaos abates. Should this chaos become our world, watch for gradual adaptation. Absent the improvement or adaptation, the child may have a problem.

WHY DO SOME CHILDREN SEEM TO BE SO MUCH MORE AFFECTED THAN OTHERS?

There are many possible explanations for the range of reactions children show. But one answer to always at least consider is that the child who remains frightened to the point of some impairment, may have underlying (or visible) crises or problems that left them vulnerable to the first big, new stress they encountered. If you are ever concerned about the safety or emotional well-being of one of your charges, and you are not a mental health professional, be sure to always seek the consult of someone who is.

HOW CAN I GET CHILDREN TO FOCUS ON SCHOOL WORK AND OTHER TASKS WHEN THEY APPEAR SCARED, WORRIED OR DISTRACTED?

First, strike the balance between being sensitive to the child's distress and accomplishing your tasks. That balance can shift daily, hourly, etc. For example, if there is another huge incident, you might tilt the balance towards accommodating the distress. Similarly, following a lengthy period of relative calm, you may want to increase your expectations. Notice that you still keep losing your car keys, and you have since Tuesday. You've also noticed that there doesn't seem to be any way to "force" yourself to pay attention better and hang onto those keys. The same is true with kids. You can't force people to cope better than they already are.

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